Why Do We Resist the Things We Need or Want the Most?

Oct 28, 2019

Hi everybody!

I want to talk about resistance.

I think almost every human being finds themselves sometimes resisting what they NEED to do and even sometimes what we WANT to do! And why is that? It's an interesting thing that we do and almost everyone I know has done it at least at one point in their life and sometimes several times a day.

My name is Linda Frazee and I teach a system called the Enneagram, which is a personality system that helps us understand ourselves at a very deep level. I've been doing this for about 40 years and in that period of time I have seen a lot of people through the years go through some resistance and of course, I've had my own as well.

The Enneagram has nine different personality types in it. And today I'm going to talk to you about how each one of them goes through resistance or how it shows up, I should say.

The first type is a 'One' - and they are the perfectionist. Very often they wait to do things or they resist doing them because they don't think it's perfect enough. If the final product has errors or maybe could be better, because they're also called reformers. They want to make sure they get the very best product and do their very best possible and that can actually create some resistance within them.

The Two's, Threes, and Fours are the next three types and they are all 'heart' types. On some level or not, image is a problem for them. They're all concerned about their image and product approval. So as a result, they will resist doing what they need to do for a variety of reasons.

The Two, who's called the helper, is often so busy helping others that they will end up leaving their own agenda out of it. In so doing, they'll take on too many projects, wanting to help, or be approved of, that they don't have time for their own.

The three is a performer - and oftentimes they're so busy performing that they don't have time to do the backup work or they're exhausted from all the performing. They're also concerned about their image. And so they may be in resistance.

The four is an interesting character because often they're so caught up in their feelings. They are the most in touch with their feelings in the 'feeling center' of the Enneagram. They don't want to do what they want to do until they feel like it. Well, you know, sometimes we have deadlines we have to pursue and sometimes we have to push ourselves to do things even when we're not feeling like it. And that can cause resistance.

Now then we moved to the mind types because we have three mind or mental types on the Enneagram. The Five, Six, and Seven.

The five will resist just because they have to analyze it more. They're not really sure. The action that they're supposed to take needs to be researched a little more. And so they will also get into some resistance because of that. Now I know that in all of these types, and everyone has a type, there's a lot of other answers to resistance besides just the Enneagram, but the Enneagram will show you some of those blocks that we all have about things like resistance.

Now the Six has an issue with authority. So if the authority says 'you will do this at a certain time', there's automatic resistance! And that resistance can show up in a couple of ways. Either the six will put their heels in and they're not going to do it 'their' way just because it's the authority - or - they want to become the authority so that they can make the rules. Or, they will want to stay below the radar so that they won't have to have anybody tell them what to do.

All of these things can cause resistance.

The seven comes up with resistance from a whole different perspective. They're out having fun. There's so many fun activities, so many options, that when they have to sit down and really put their pencil to the metal and really do things - or I mean their foot to the metal, they will resist doing that because it simply isn't fun.

And so the Eight. The Eight is the boss, the protector. They've got very - really big energy! And they say, 'well, "I'll just do it when I damn well feel like it", because they're not going to have anybody tell them what to do. Very much like the six as far as authority. And you know, besides that, they say, 'I can do it at the last minute. I can pull it off at the last minute.' And very often they do. But there is a toll that can be taken with this resistance inside.

The Nine's resistance is very, very, passive. They just forget themselves and they get focused on other people's agendas. And so therefore they actually resist the things that they need for themselves on a personal level.

So there's more to this story as I've mentioned, but those are just kind of an overview of the nine types of the Enneagram, and how risk resistance shows up.

If you'd like to know more, you can go to my website, www.LindaFrazee.com and click on the five free videos (https://www.lindafrazee.com/whatistheenneagram). And you can see at length all the types revealed and you will hear them talk about how they deal with life and about how resistance shows up for them.

- Linda Frazee
Free 5-Video Series: What is the Enneagram Anyway? 


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