Shining a Light on Your Blind Spots - How to Own Your Gifts and Avoid Your Pitfalls

*** Full Transcription Below ***

If you've ever driven a car, you know what a blind spot is. That blind spot is when you can't see either with your rear view mirror or your side mirror what's behind you. That inability to see can cause an accident because in that just short period of time, someone could be behind you and sideswipe you, or any number of things can happen. So we have to be very careful as drivers.

Now, just in case you've never driven a car, it's important for you to understand that just one second can cause a problem. So that's how it is in driving. But the interesting thing is in our personalities, we can also have blind spots!

I'm Linda Frazee, and I teach a system called the Enneagram. It has nine 'types' and it teaches you very carefully about your blind spots if you choose to listen and become aware of them.

We can't change anything that we're not aware of. And so becoming aware of our blind spots is very important.

Now let's back up a little. There are positive blind spots, not just negative ones, but positive ones as well. Well, what is that? A positive bind spot is something that is a talent or natural ability - that you have a capacity that you don't give yourself credit for. It's the kind of thing where people will say, 'well, wow, you did this thing, it's fantastic.' And you go, 'well, yeah, of course, but anybody could do that!' Then they say, 'no, no, no, I couldn't do it!' 'I don't know anybody could do it.' And you say, 'Oh yeah, lots of people can do it.'. And there are others of course, but it's not owning that capacity that you own in yourself. That could be developed even in a bigger and better way!

So that would be a positive blind spot. Now on the negative side, there is this idea that you have something that other people have told you repeatedly. Now here are some clues. If you had negative blind spot, people say to you, 'you know, you do this thing' and you say, 'no, I don't, I don't do that!' Why do you say that? People have been telling me all my life and I never do that. Well that's a clue. If people had been telling you or you have a pattern in your life that you keep forgetting something really critical maybe to pay the bills or to watch your money or watch your affairs with your relationships, whatever it is. And it's a repeated pattern - that would be something you were ignoring as a blind spot. Well, in the Enneagram, there's nine types of personalities and each one of them has their own blind spot or perhaps, more than one. But for today, I'm just going to highlight one of each type.

So the One on the Enneagram can be filled with resentment and has no clue that they are, they assume that no one could see that, but that if they are upset, nobody would know. But everybody around them knows that's a blind spot.

The Two is so concerned about helping other people, their blind spot is intrusiveness. They have no idea that they have just stepped over a boundary with somebody in the effort to help them. And actually could be quite irritating to others because they're so busy about helping, which is their blind spot.

The Three is so busy getting things done, they can be dismissive - dismissive of people who come to them with questions or want to engage in some way. It's almost like they're brushing them off because they're so focused on the production of the next thing. Doing what needs to get done.

The Four can be very intense and dramatic and has no idea! They often bring the conversation back to themselves in any kind of a context and have no idea they're doing that. Which is, of course, about being self-absorbed and is a blind spot.

The Five is a different kind of character in the sense that they are standing back and seem very aloof at times. Unfriendly, cool they can be and sometimes people think, 'well, they don't even like me,' so people don't approach. But in reality they're just standing back to observe, they have no idea exactly what kind of a persona that they're putting out.

The Six is so eager to figure out what's going on, that they have a very intense way sometimes of asking questions like 'what is happening?' 'What's next?' 'Well, why did you do that?' 'I don't understand.' And there's this fear underneath it that's really coming up to the person in front of you, like anger. And so, as a result, people back away and say, 'what's that about?' In reality, it's all just about asking questions and being safe. But that's going to be a blind spot.

Now the Seven is an idea hopper. They go from one idea to another - in their mind, in their activities, and in their body language. That can be quite distracting to other types. And that can be their blind spot.

Now the Eight has big intense energy and usually by the time they're a teenager, they know that! They think they've got enough feedback from other people - yet they haven't. So the Eight imagines that they are reducing or sort of winding down their intense energy. And on a scale of one to 10, they think they're at about a five. But the rest of the world thinks that they may be still a 10 or a 12! So that's their blind spot, just how much, how intense they can appear.

The Nine is a different character altogether in the fact that what they do, is, they don't initiate - and they don't really engage - and they 'go along to get along'. Their blind spot is that that can be very irritating in a relationship because it's as if they don't have any opinion. Anybody in relationship with a Nine wants them to have their opinion!

These are just a few of the blind spots and there are more of each, but this is just a snippet of how it is in blind spots with the Enneagram. I'm Linda Frazee. I invite you to go to my website, LindaFrazee.com and check out what type you might be and what might be your blind spot.

Linda Frazee

Founder, Authentic Wisdom Community

Free 5-Video Series: What is the Enneagram Anyway?