Getting Out of Your Own Way

When you are wanting to do something new and different or reach for a new career, it may seem like there are countless insurmountable roadblocks. There may be something you have to do that is challenging or uncomfortable. You may even have to learn something new. But, underneath all of the things in the material world that are important, the biggest hurdle resides inside. That is...getting out of our own way!

My name is Linda Frazee and for the last 40 years I have been working with individuals to help them get out of their own way to achieve success and satisfaction.

How do we get in our own way? The first way is often subconscious. It is living out negative beliefs we picked up in childhood. Some of the most limiting beliefs we hold were never spoken out loud. They were demonstrated by our caretakers and extended family, teachers or religious leaders. When we are young, what others believe can be internalized as our truth. We don’t have the capacity to sort out what is true, what is not and what we or others are making up!

When we are teenagers we are particularly prone to making decisions about ourselves based on whether we are liked or popular. At that time in our life we are so self-conscious about how we look and act that our insecurities can get majorly exaggerated. And years later those old beliefs can come back and haunt us. Those are just a few ways we can sabotage ourselves by getting in the way of being our highest and best.

Today I want to talk about how we can get in our own way from the standpoint of our Enneagram Type. The Enneagram is a profound system of self-understanding that sheds light on our habit of mind and our focus of attention. Our type is a lens over our eyes that distorts our view of reality. And because it is genetic and habitual, it feels right and true.

If you don’t know anything about the Enneagram, or your type, you can go to my website LindaFrazee.com and learn about the system and discover which types you identify with the most.

Here is a quick overview of some examples of how all nine Enneagram types can get in their own way.

The One, the Perfectionist, is driven to get things done and to do them right. However, they can be so concerned about accuracy that they can get lost in the details.

The Two, the Helper is highly motivated to be of service to others but can be so focused on other’s needs that they can get in the way of meeting their own needs.

The Three, The Performer, is a high achiever but gets in their own way by doing too much for too long!

The Four, the Romantic can be empathetically tuned into others who are emotionally upset, but can get in their own way, waiting to “feel” right before taking their next step.

The Five, the Observer, sits back, absorbing all that’s going on and can shift through what’s important in a quick fashion. They can get in their own way by standing on the sidelines versus participating in life and daring to do what they dream.

The Six, The Loyal Skeptic, is a steady, loyal worker, but can be so caught up in worst-case thinking that they hold themselves back from taking the chance to succeed.

The Seven, The Delightful Adventurer, can get in their own way by focusing so much attention on fun and distraction that they can have difficulty staying the course of a healthy enterprise, especially if they get bored.

The Eight, The Boss, has enormous energy to put into any situation, but can get in their way by not moderating their intensity.

And last, but not least, The Nine, The Mediator, is a steady and harmonious worker or mate but can get in their own way by forgetting what is really important to them on a personal level.

So, what is the answer to getting out of our own way? Notice those negative feelings from the past that are no longer valid. Speak out loud to yourself, when no one is listening and say something like - that was then and this is now! Or, I didn’t ask for your opinion. Or, I know you are scared, but I am grown up now and I can do this safely! Discover your Enneagram Type and learn about your unconscious habits and blind spots that may be keeping you hostage from your dreams!

I am Linda Frazee, intuitive coach for what comes next. 

Linda